Monday, March 14, 2011

"Almost Perfect Breakfast" (or "Why Processed Food Will Make Our Hearts Explode")


That, my friends, is the Egg White, Spinach & Feta Wrap from Starbucks.  This thing is [BEEP]in tasty.  I was eating this thing and thinking "Damn I don't care about being a vegetarian, this is the best breakfast ever".  It's a good sized wheat wrap, heated up in one of Starbucks' diesel "warming ovens", with egg whites jammed inside.  To make the egg whites taste that much more delicious, they throw spinach in there, and what I have learned is sundried tomato cream cheese.  Holy [BEEP] that's tasty.

I ballpark the calorie count at 500.  Wrong again, I'm off by over 200 calories.  280 calories for the wrap, which is a normal person's serving of chips, assuming they eat only 2 "real" servings...at least they estimate how many chips is in a "serving"...who eats 8 chips? C'mon man.

Speaking of chips, there was one blatantly terrible awful thing about this perfect breakfast that pretty much ruined it for me and I will most likely never eat this again, unless I eat it after a workout.  But before I get into that, let me give you some more of the nutritional facts.  Under 300 calories makes it great for low-calorie diets, because I kid you not, I am full right now. 

The 18 grams of protein probably have something to do with that.  18 grams of protein in a vegetarian breakfast wrap, are you kidding me?  I feel like a friggin genius right now.  As if I invented this beautiful sandwich, basically the polar opposite of the pancake-wich made famous by the global powerhouse of fast-food aka "that Scottish restaurant" as my weird family sometimes calls it.

The wrap sits in at 10 grams of fat, 3.5 of that being saturated fat, to which I say "not bad".  One meal down and I'm at 16% daily value for fat, I'll take it.  I may never have a sausage egg and cheese on a croissant ever again, which at Dunkin Donuts means you are putting down 51 grams of fat, which after a night of drinking may be incredible...but you just ate 80% of your fat intake for the day and it's not even noon yet.  For reference, a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese from "the Scottish place" has 41 grams.

Low in cholesterol (thanks to the egg whites), 6 grams (25% daily value) of fiber (wheat wrap), I think I've found the super food.  What could possibly be wrong?  Oh wait, how much sodium is in this beast?  Oh wait, 900 mg! [BEEEEP].  For reference, that's the same as THREE medium french fries, THREE.  Or you could have 1 Big Mac, which is close enough (but more) at 1080 mg.

Okay, I'm done writing about this, I'm going to fill my water bottle again and drink up.  Damn that was a tasty breakfast though.

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